“So what?” you say.
well, it isn’t about the money. Is it?
Without it, you grow up with shitty education – make the most of it, and then succumb to the pattern of socioeconomics. Fuck up. End up broke despite all the chances you were given to rise from the fucking rubble of your upbringing.
Destroy yourself. Return to your roots, and realize that you ended up full circle.
At some point, it will change. just like it did on groundhog day when Bill Murray finally got everything right, and the day was able to tick over into something new, and beautiful – his having learned to value life.
I’m probably stuck at the scene where he tried to kill himself fifty times, and decided to take piano lessons instead. How many weeks did he live through the same day, crawling along at snails pace – gradually improving until he was a maestro?
Well, time may as well be frozen for lives like my own. No measure of progress, only ageing. The mind stuck firmly in some version of oneself preserved for the sole purpose of livening us up at parties to dance like loons.. to regret later.
Well, i’m stuck in groundhog day and there are quite a few more days on repeat ahead of me before I can break free of this shit.
Meanwhile, i’ll get high on cheap instant coffee. Eat free-range eggs for dinner, and home-brand everything.
Push my six bucks past the finish line, two days til payday.
Repeat. Ifinitum. Until it ticks over.